Teaching over the years (all three of them) has allowed me to get paid for one of my favorite hobbies – people watching. So, without further ado, I bring you the most interesting species of the modern teenager.
1. The Over-Sharer
This is the kid who is in your class for less than a week before they start telling you about their home-life, their sex life, their drug use, basically anything you JUST DON’T WANT TO KNOW. Typically, these conversations are not initiated by either party, nor are they even conversations. You will be standing at the door of your classroom welcoming your students, when little Suzy bounces up and tells you that her boyfriend got arrested for statutory rape. You stare, wide-eyed, as she relates the tale, and then hops back to her seat without so much as a pause for reaction. Your reaction doesn’t matter. She just wants everyone to know.
2. The Kid Who Thinks He’s Different Because He Listens to ICP.
I get one of these in every single class, without fail. They think that they’re hard-core, that they’re scary, that everyone thinks that he or she is mysterious because they are “juggalos.” One of the joys of my life is the look on their faces when they realize that not only do I know who ICP are, I also know that they are far from anything to be scared of. I wonder if these kids, like so many I knew in high school, will eventually grow out of the ICP phase and actually listen to decent music. More than likely, they will end up like those guys who still have the Hatchetman logo on their cars at the age of 30.
4. The One You Totally Misread
Teachers judge students. We all know it happens. The unfortunate part is that most of the time, we’re right, be it from self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever. But once in a while, you get a student who you had totally pegged for a bad, lazy kid, who turns out to really be misunderstood. Not misunderstood in a Hallmark “oh, you thought I was a bad kid cuz I’m black” way, but in a very real way, when you realize that they’re not lazy, they need help. They’re not mean, they’re bullied. They’re not hopeless, they just needed the encouragement. What breaks my heart is to see these kids out in the hallways getting written up on referrals because the teacher couldn’t figure out how to deal with them.
4. The “Mr. So-and-So Let Us Do It”
When someone asks you if they can break the rules, and you say no, it is inevitable that someone will pipe up and say that another teacher let them do it – eat in class, listen to ipods, text, whatever. And the truth is that most of the time, they aren’t lying. Hell, I share my room with a guy who lets the kids eat candy and chips and they leave their goddamn wrappers and candy bits all over the floor and it DRIVES ME NUTS. Does that mean that I’m going to start letting them do it? Hell no.
