This year has been interesting for a myriad of reasons. First, I realized that I really don’t want to teach for the rest of my life. There’s nothing wrong with the kids, nothing wrong with the staff… I’ve just come to the conclusion that it’s not for me. I’ve found that I’ve been staying out a lot more and caring about work a lot less. I’ve dived head-first into extracurriculars so that I could truly enjoy myself and distract myself from that empty, unfulfilled feeling I get at work.
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting at my computer while my students take their exams. Most of them are working hard, which is nice to see; they’ll do well. The others… well, there’s really nothing to be done about that. A kid just asked to go to the bathroom and two seconds later asked to get some water. Anything to get out of the classroom.
I’ve started the process to begin my PhD. First step: acceptance. Everyone is reassuring me that I’ll get in easily, but it’s no false modesty when I say I’m not so sure.
I think one of the most telling points is that I care far more about baseball right now than about my job. The Tampa Bay Rays are fighting for the World Series, and that’s amazing to me. If you knew me a year ago you would laugh to think about me as a baseball fan. There’s just something amazing about this team that makes you want to love them. Plus, I think Rocco Baldelli is just beatiful.
